Ladies and gentlemen - introducing LOLA!
Ok, get comfortable and just get through the intro….you’re in for a treat.
Lets first get back up to speed on Days 3 and 4 in Barbados. Again, we’re paying for blocks of internet time and I’m too cheap to pay for the week.
As usual…the 7am wake up call is ignored and the daily scramble to make the 10:30am cutoff for breakfast was on. I do have to say, I look forward to breakfast every day. Since I’ve been here, it’s been all about banana bread, coconut muffins, bakes and this day…biscuits. I’m still craving coconut bakes but they haven’t had any since the day we arrived….
So, the plan was to go to Accra beach. We’ve read all about it and wanted to see what the big deal was….and it was right across the street from a “fast food” spot called Chefette. We thought to walk it but if you’ve ever been to beach city in the Caribbean, you’re lucky if you have a 3 ft concrete slab on the side of the road to walk on….so some of the walk involved walking along the side of the road. Ok yes…not safe…whatever. It’s no different from walking anywhere in Cabo Rojo…just watch yourself here b/c the traffic is coming at you from the opposite direction. And of course I got tired of walking half way there so, we dollar-cabbed it to Accra beach (about 5 min ride) and stopped into Chefette.
Although it wasn’t fast food in the American sense of fast food, these cats had meals. We could have had pork chops, steaks….you name it. We instead settled for the fried chicken w/fries and biscuits. This spot was no KFC….this chicken was great. I think they killed the chickens out back and fried them up on the spot.
After lunch, we crossed the street and hit up Accra beach. It was nice….tiny…but nice. It seems to be a very popular beach…there were a lot of people. It wasn’t packed, but there were enough people for my anti-social nature to kick in. 5ft personal comfort zone at all times or I can’t be responsible for what my fists my do to your face….ok, we stuck around for a while, read the local paper (WSJ material, serious. These cats are all about the economic development of Barbados) and relaxed. I gotta say, the sand here is like baby powder….
We took our time walking back…yes along the road…at least until we were able to get around the construction sites / hotels and were able to get back on public beach.
Ok, so hold onto your pants. Mir treated us to a show that night at Harbor Lights. First, a little background….we met a family from the UK on the beach. Let me also add that EVERYONE here is from the UK. Anyway, we got to talking with the family (who has been here 2 weeks already, we don’t like them), and asked them what they recommended we do with our free time…and they suggested we go see a music/dancing/performance at Harbor Lights. They pick you up, feed you, provide unlimited drinks all night and then take you back to the hotel. They marketed this as a family show so we thought nothing of it and Mir decided to treat, and I’m all for whatever she wants to do. And you know that if Mir is coming out of pocket, she wants to go.
We settled into a table with a view and the band started within a few minutes. They opened with up beat soca and calypso songs and then…well….got somewhat side tracked. The lead female singer busted out into Alicia Key’s “No One”….and then oddly followed up with a song Brandon would appreciate…now, I’m not sure of the song’s title but we did understand her repeated singing “make me sweat”….and it didn’t sound like she meant it in the nice way. Lyrics included lines like “I want you to make me sweat”, “make me sweat all night long”, “I want you, I want you, make me, make me sweat.” I had a "Love Me Sexy" moment - Will Ferrell (youtube it). Yes, it was that awkward.
Alrighty then….we thought nothing of it, until they introduced Lola.
Lola came out in full carnival costume and showed the crowd how to “wine”. For those of you who don’t know what wining is….go down to SOB’s on Varick on Carribbean night and find yourself a nice West Indian chick….come up behind her and yea….that’s wining. Americans call it the "slow grind." And Lola dropped it like it’s HOT like FIYA. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the show….Mir and I didn't think it was exactly family friendly. Personally, I’d have covered my kids eyes and run them out the door…but the English loved it. The MC then came out and invites all newly-weds onto the stage. A nice gesture…until he asked each of them what the best part of Barbados has been….
Sidebar: Earlier in the night we met a nice couple from Boston on their Honeymoon. Very nice couple but hard core drinkers and all around crazy.
Back to the stage: the nice young man from Boston answered the question of what the best part of Barbados has been with “The hotel room when the lights are off”… HIOOOOO. Kids in the room! Ah, but if only that was the only inappropriate comment.
So, Lola takes the gentlemen on stage and proceeds to show then how to wine. Yea, Lola’s chicken nuggets were bouncing and dropping all over the stage. I also got a good shot of the kids watching Lola from the foot of the stage….
They then asked the couples to wine with their partners on the dance floor for prizes. The lovely young couple we met then proceeded to bend over and spank one another on the dance floor while freak dancing….oh if only you could have been there. It was CLASSIC. The crowd voted and they lost but I have to say, they were robbed.
How do you top that? Well, bring out a dude that eats fire, bring Lola out for a limbo, add dudes dancing on stilts, a dude break dancing in a shaggy outfit and a guy in a chimpanzee suit doing flips and now you have yourself a show.
FYI - Guys, our old super from 165th retired and is now a fire eater in Barbados (inside joke for the NY / NJ
primos).
We had a blast and were back at the hotel early enough to knock out by midnight.
PS. as I’m writing this…I’ve called C.H.M. about 6 or 7 times and was threatened to have a blog posted about C.H.M. episodes. Don't ask why, I have no idea.
Barbados – Day 4
Truly the laziest day ever. The plan for the day was to do a little as humanly possible and we succeeded. Breakfast involved, yes…banana bread. This stuff is friggin great.
From breakfast, to the beach….from the beach to lunch (all about 15 ft away)….from lunch back to the beach….Mir napped and I read….over to the mini pool and the Jacuzzi…back to the room for a quick shower and then out to dinner at St. Lawrence Gap.
I have to say, all this time on the beach is great study time.
Although my OCD kicked in at one point and I couldn’t leave well enough alone. I swam out to the rocks to explore and in my infinite wisdom, got Mir to come out with me. These rocks are blocks of jagged, sharp coral, placed there as an artificial breakwater for incoming waves. I had no problems climbing the rocks….but it seems that the aqua socks I bought Mir were somewhat slick. Narrowly avoiding a header into the rocks, she stopped herself from falling by holding onto the rocks and ended up cutting her hand. Funtime is now over, everyone out of the water! No stitches necessary but I felt awful. Friggin stupid aqua socks….I’m going to Modell’s and I’m kicking over the rack when I get back to the city. It’s their fault (insert expletive here).
In the Jacuzzi we met a nice family with twin 11 yr old boys and talked for a bit. We ended up meeting up with them on the way to dinner and just so happened to be going to the same restaurant on St. Lawrence Gap... where I had some of the best jerk chicken I’ve ever had. If you dunno about jerk chicken….look it up, you’re missing out. The family was very nice and we laughed our way through dinner….you know me, dinner, people, it’s showtime (jazz hands).
Got back to the hotel, missed Hillary’s speech but we’re conserving our energy for tomorrow when we hit up the capital, Bridgeport. Stay tuned for more adventures from Justino and Mir. We’ve still got 3 ½ days remaining in Barbados.We're just hoping not to do a "Versailles" over here.
